The struggles I have never seem enough. That's coming from the point of view of self deprication. No matter what I do, I come up with another issue with what I'm doing. My mind is almost competeing on when I should do ___, then my anxity kicks in on how I can't or shouldn't. Like as if this issue isn't bad, here's a worse one. The appetite of what could go wrong is never satisfied. Even to the point of tears....
If you can relate to any of that....
Then maybe this common ground will help you as I type this to release mine.
It's hilarious where you flip it and you wonder why. When the question shouldn't be why, I think. Maybe "how" would be better. Let's say you are about to order at a new restaurant. IMMEDIATELY myself cringes into my chair. Reasons sputter out on why it'll go wrong. I'll order something... that's too big or small. I won't actually like it. The meal wouldn't suite the table, I mean the person next to me might be grossed out on what I order. Let's not forget the price!
See? Nothing but a circle, so..... let's flip it.
Here, let's take them on together. How do I know how big or small it is? Let's ask the waitress. Let's check if it has a smaller or larger option. Sometimes there's the "half" option like when you order a sandwhich and only want half. Or order the full sandwhich! How do I know I'll like it? What does it have? If it has mushrooms, and you like mushrooms- heck yeah! But, it has black olives? That always squirms me the wrong way. (No disrespect on all the olive lovers out there) Immediately looking at what's in it or on it will help you judge it. How can I avoid grossing out my friends? That one you'd think,"I'll order what I like" and the previous statement supports that. BUT! Here's the thing, sometimes your friends may be allergic. Oof, gotcha there didn't I? Let's avoid that peanut related dish, you shouldn't risk it. The grossed out factor? That one isn't on why either. That one is: when. Where and when can affect your meal out with friends. When is it time for dessert? Usually, folks eat that around the same time. When should you order chips and dip? Usually before the big meal or to finish it off. How do I know I'll order something I can't afford? The prices of any place can vary, sometimes comparing is my best get to. This place has a blt? What kind of blt is it compared to others? Let's judge it by what it can offer. Is the price too steep for my wallet? Let's order something more so in line with it. Am I getting more than one thing? Keep a mental note, maybe take off something if needed.
So you can see how "how" can help with that.
It's a bit harder, but this could apply to social interactions
You meet someone new. There goes your mind! Ah, what if he/she/they hate me! My clothes looks stupid! My voice just cracked, oh god. What do I say?? Crap, I have no idea what we're talking about... Yikes, let's pause on that waterfall. How do you think they'll hate you? Are you a bad person? (What even is bad?) Heh, that one isn't so easy to judge. Yet, ask yourself.. what have you done to cause any hatred? Did the two of you recently argue, what was it about? What have you done since then? Is it water under the bridge or maybe it's the waves crashing at the mountain.... Whether or not someone hates you isn't what you should focus on, I think. I'd have to say you should turn it to: how can I be their friend? This person may become your greatest ally or greatest enemy. Instead of worrying on how it'll affect them, how does it affect you? How do you look to them? Are you seriously worried about what you look like? No, really. Are you? When it comes to apperance there's a false look on what you're wearing is just dumb or overrated or stupid or weird, etc. There's the argument of "wear whatcha like" which can apply to eat what you like above. But I'd argue, how is it bad? If your pants has a hole on the sleeve, it's not bad. Is the hole showing a bit too much? Yeah, let's not wear that one. How does it affect your own style?
Recently, I purchased a few hats for myself. It's something I've never gotten into. Trust me, I usually avoid hats since they're just too big. When I used to work at PapaJ, the hat actually was a godsend. Sometimes, I'd get too nervous to look customers in the eye... the excuse of height and slight head tilt gave me a bit of an advantage. The sunlight outside was a little bit more bearable. When I left work, I was scared I'd get flashback of work if I wore a hat again. But then it came the curiousity. Suddenly, I looked at someone who wore hats often. My boyfriend, heh. He always grabbed one heading out and it felt like maybe there was a reason to it. The sunlight being a bit guarded, turns out the glasses get guarded from rain too. Onday day, I came into a gaming store and just bought what looked cute!
The grey webbing of this hat caught my eye, and I almost didn't buy it. There was just a sense of obvious change this would be for my style. AND YET, I was okay with that.
D
The seasons are changing.
Spring is (technically) here where the middle of the year approaches. It's at this point where New Year's Resolutions kinda ... poof, so to speak. It's around this time, I'm reminded of my 2021 Goals. No, not if whether or not they're done... but their progress. The "Let's do it" attuide some people have, the main reason it happens is the change of determination. There's the change in pace where you want to move forward.
But if you're like me, why bother?
The speech of flipping it to "how" I didn't write that because that's the foundation of my thought process. I wrote that to reflect how it can help it. Help my mind focus on what's important.
And that's where this book comes in! My lord, the stuff it's done to my reasoning.
This book is called "Essentialism, The Pursuit of Less" it's where instead of focusing on doing everything, you should do the things that actually affect you. It's where that one thing can make more of a difference than ten things or a thusand things can be beat by that one thing!!
It's something I'd recommend to help ya figure out what's essential
Thanks for reading. Have a great Wednesday~ d